Let's see if I can shed some light
Allright, first of all. Whatever actions you undertake, be it in the mortal world or contacts between deities, must be forwarded to me. It's simple logic, really: if I don't know something between two deities happened, I can't act upon it, which means that, as far as the game is concerned, it never happened at all. What's the point in that? So, any actions resulting from communications between deities - alliances, enmities, treaties, pacts, promises, exchanges, gifts, and so on - should be notified to me. It's best if you do so once the communication is complete, so as not to send three hundred PMs; but if you can't for any reason (such as Avatar's hours), then it's acceptable for you to let me know how things stand by the time you leave, and the other party to let me know his or her opinions as well. You may of course choose not to let other deities know about these exchanges: especially if they involve secret alliances or plans. But I need to know all such communications and their results.
Communication and actions between deities does not require the expenditure of divine rank points. So you can buy the goddess a beer without problems

This applies to all actions that ONLY involve deities (such as two or more deities actually meeting and holding a council, for example).
Using divine ranks, as Avatar correctly pointed out, is not a 1 point = 1 action equivalency; rather, divine rank indicates your influence and power upon the material world. If you choose to use your influence on your worshipers to have them found a city, you allocate divine rank points to the whole process; you don't need to allocate divine points separately to "search for a suitable area", "founding", "mason hiring", and so on. The more divine rank points you put in a single event, the more your influence will be felt. For example: if you proselytize with 1 rank point, you'll get some worshipers; if you proselytize with 20 rank points (!), you'll get LOTS of worshipers.
Avatar wrote:
The way I see it, and have been playing, is that a divine point is related to a whole range of activities. If, for example, you wish to stop a schism, that may require a number of "actions" However, the divine point serves to boost the efficiency of those actions related to stopping the schism.
I suppose that you could just allocate the point to stopping it, and allow the "action" to happen off-screen, but where's the fun in that?
Also, you're supposed to provided your intentions as well with each move, so if it works, it works.
I've assumed that any of the "interim" actions, (those unassigned divine points) still happen, even if they do not relate to the issue to which the point is allocated, but their outcome and efficiacy is not influenced/increased by your own power. *shrug* (I could be wrong on this.)
This is all correct. You can simply tell me "I'm using one rank point to have my city founded", but it's much more fun to describe how you're using your influence to do so
And, of course, any events I describe in your turn mails, for which you don't spend rank points, still evolve in the background: if I tell you there's a schism and you don't use rank points there, it's likely that the schism will get more and more serious because you're not paying attention to it. Of course, as young deities, you can't pay attention to everything: but remember that each action - both those you undertake and those you don't keep an eye on - might have consequences, and not all consequences can be guessed at beforehand.
The whole discussion about divine rank points affects large-scale events, or exceptional events in any case: your prophet, an exceptional worshiper, a group of worshipers, or the like. It is assumed you have several rank-and-file priests in your clergy; you have a certain leeway with minor events - you can proclaim your worshipers founded a small temple to you in a certain city, or that you're sending a cleric to help (or hinder) another deity, or so on. These minor events won't usually affect the game significantly, however - although sometimes they will, not always the way you expected them to, however

You can send a cleric to help your friend; chances are he won't be that helpful, but you never know. He could turn out to be very helpful - or harmful. It's a risk.
Avatar wrote:As for lying, I'll let Xar rule, I hadn't thought of doing it myself.

I don't like it, but it's real...maybe just about actions? Not physical possessions? I don't know.

You may lie with your statements: for example, you might claim in public that you have nothing but love and affection for, say, Avatar, while in private you're training your worshipers to destroy Avatar's greatest center of worship. Or you may claim you have a powerful artifact and every other deity should bow down to you. And you may of course hide your actions as a deity. All these actions cannot be countered by deities - but it's up to them whether to believe them or not, of course.
But whatever your worshipers do is known to other deities because everyone is keeping an eye on the world, and if your worshipers are "secretly" pillaging a village, chances are there are worshipers of other deities in that village. However, with regards to events affecting the mortal world, you can always devote one or more divine rank points in an attempt to hide one or more major events you're planning or suffering in a given turn. For example, if you're gathering an army, you might want to spend points so that the other deities don't get suspicious. However, remember, that you can also use divine rank points to spy on other deities; the more points you spend, the more carefully you hide things, or the more carefully you attempt to find out what the other deity is doing.