Should I receive Confirmation? Advice needed

[Avatar]

You may well be right.

But you can never control what they're taught either, however much you try. They will learn in spite of your efforts from many sources, some of which you won't even be aware of, and some of which you'll disagree with. if you are.

In fact, I could argue that they may be more inclined to give weight to those external sources than to the ones you supply/approve. (In some cases.)

Aah, as you say though, your outlook changes when you have them, and I know that there's a good chance that what I want to do then, and what I think should be done will not necessarily be the same. I hope I manage to stick to what I think is right.

--A

[Cail]

That's pretty much it. All I can do as a parent is equip my child with the tools I think are important, and be open and receptive to different ideas that she learns elsewhere. I believe that I have the kind of relationship with her that if I tell her something is unacceptable, and explain why I think that, that she'll understand.

And if not, I'll lock her in the Tall Tower until she's an adult.

[ur-bane]

Very well said, Cail.
And I think you hit on the most important aspect of parenting, IMHO. And that's maintaining a good relationship with your children. An explanation as to why something is not a good idea is much better, and more likely to be received with open mind than "Because I said so, that's why."

But if all else fails, I like you Tall Tower idea. Is there room for more than one kid in there?

[Lord Mhoram]

Good discussion here, guys.

Avatar,

Gibran's wisdom never ceases to amaze me. Nor your ability to quote him.

[bossk]

Avatar said: Bossk's problem is one I often think about in terms of myself. I don't have kids yet, but I know its a problem I'm going to face when I do. My morals and Ethics have nothing to do with religion.

I have said a lot about what I think, but here's what really happens in my house. My wife and I don't go to church, but our parents do, so when we visit them, we all go to church. When we are at home, we don't go (in fact, my volunteer radio show falls smack dab during 'church time'). He isn't old enough to wonder why yet - it will get more interesting then, I bet.

[Revan]

I think some good things have been said. Cail, while I certainly agree that it is a parent's job to instill a value system in their children, and I equally agree that you sometimes have to "make" your children do things that they don't want to, I too can't view that in the same light as "compelling" somebody to believe something. You can't control a person's beliefs.

I never said that parents could control what their kids think. But they can, and should control what they're taught. LM believes what he believes, and he's perfectly OK believing that. However, in the US, you are (for the most part) not legally able to make your own life decisions until you're 18.

I also humbly and respectfully submit that your outlook on this will change dramatically once you have kids of your own.

It sounds to me that you are too protective of your kids. Now I'm not having a go at you, I'm sure you do it out of love; but kids have to learn to make desicions for themselves, you cannot expect them to go out once they're 18 and learn it all from scratch; they must learn themselves.

[bossk]

I think some good things have been said. Cail, while I certainly agree that it is a parent's job to instill a value system in their children, and I equally agree that you sometimes have to "make" your children do things that they don't want to, I too can't view that in the same light as "compelling" somebody to believe something. You can't control a person's beliefs.

I never said that parents could control what their kids think. But they can, and should control what they're taught. LM believes what he believes, and he's perfectly OK believing that. However, in the US, you are (for the most part) not legally able to make your own life decisions until you're 18.

I also humbly and respectfully submit that your outlook on this will change dramatically once you have kids of your own.

It sounds to me that you are too protective of your kids. Now I'm not having a go at you, I'm sure you do it out of love; but kids have to learn to make desicions for themselves, you cannot expect them to go out once they're 18 and learn it all from scratch; they must learn themselves.

DANGER, Will Robinson. I don't think it's a good idea to question someone's parenting skills in a matter of such complexity. That's a quick way for this discussion to turn ugly.

[Cail]

It sounds to me that you are too protective of your kids. Now I'm not having a go at you, I'm sure you do it out of love; but kids have to learn to make desicions for themselves, you cannot expect them to go out once they're 18 and learn it all from scratch; they must learn themselves.

Wow, that's a real leap. Did you sprain anything making that jump? I impart my values and knowledge to my kids and somehow that's overprotective?

Wow.

Enjoy the conversation folks.

[Dragonlily]

My morals and Ethics have nothing to do with religion.

Absolutely. Also, one grows into the ability to care about other people and treat them right, as long as it isn't distorted by outside pressures.

I realized when I was 9 that I didn't believe a word of what my mother was telling me about Christianity. Because she kept pressing it on me, I completely rejected all religion for many years. I finally came to a completely personal kind of faith that works for me. To me, organized religion remains a destructive force because it depends on pressure and obedience. My feeling is that "organized" and "spirit" are mutually exclusive.

[Fist and Faith]

YOU'RE 16????? HOLY CRAP!!!

[Lord Mhoram]

Fist,

I'm sorry for the shock here man.

[Cail]

Nothing to be sorry about LM, there's nothing you can do about it.

[dlbpharmd]

YOU'RE 16????? HOLY CRAP!!!

I'm going to echo this - HOLY CRAP! I had you pegged for your early 40s, LM. But I'm actually glad to hear that you're this young - this means that you still have a chance to repent from your liberal ways.

[Lord Mhoram]

dlb,

Ha! On another board, a conservative said that "All young liberals when they grow up and have to manage money will become conservatives." But he was serious.

[Cail]

Everyone's a liberal until they become a homeowner.

[dlbpharmd]

dlb,

Ha! On another board, a conservative said that "All young liberals when they grow up and have to manage money will become conservatives." But he was serious.

LOL! Actually, I was thinking of something along those very lines. When I was a pharmacy intern one of my fellow students was an African American girl who was hard-core liberal as hell and proud of it. Oh, the fun I had getting her riled up! (Almost as much fun as I do here - ) One day our preceptor overheard one of our classic arguments. He came over and said "Kimm, when you're out of school and get your first paycheck as a pharmacist and you see how much the government has taken, you'll be mad as hell. When you get your second paycheck and see how much the government has taken, you'll never vote Democratic again."

I do have to commend you though - not many 16 year olds have your intellect and capacity for critical thinking. You simply have a case of wrong politics, that's all (like some others I could name *cough* cho *cough*) There's still hope for you!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled topic.

[dlbpharmd]

Everyone's a liberal until they become a homeowner.

LOL! I love it!

[Lord Mhoram]

dlb,

Funny story there! Heh. Regarding "my politics": Well, it's not like I'm the only one who shares those views. We'll see what happens as I grow older. I go to private school, with a lot of liberal classmates. Believe it or not though, I formed my own political views from reading about current events and issues, and sometimes even stuff here. So I think I can safely say that I formed my own views. Thanks for the commending though.

Ha, I've helped my own thread to go completely offtopic. Oh well.

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

I didn't read this thread, I'll be honest. I got through page 1. I only have one thing to say:
Lord Mhoram, you are 16?! ?!?!?!?!?!
Wow. Totally had no idea.
I got confirmed, under the exact circumstances you're describing. Felt a little cheap, but never hurt me none...

[Lord Mhoram]

Hmmm.