What path COULD your life have taken

[Phantasm]

I was sitting thinking about my schooldays and was wondering if my path in life would have been different if one or two things had worked out another way.

First one was, I was having a trial for the Scotland Schoolboys under 15 team, and was told that 1 of the scouts wanted me in the team, but was overruled by the other 2 - I would like to think that if I had been picked I might have carved out a career in football - which was my goal as a kid.
P.S. that's soccer for our American friends.

Second one was deciding to quit uni after passing all my 1st year exams in Computer Programming - I still think that is the worst decision I ever made in life (Closely followed by marrying my 1st wife )
My mates that finished the course are all earning a fortune now - Doh !!!! could have been me.


How might your life have changed if a couple of decisions had gone down a different path?

[deer of the dawn]

Yeah, pretty much if I had decided not to do drugs, I would have continued in musical theater and performing and painting, and even if I had a day job, with the IQ I'm told I had it could have been a really great day job. Rather than it taking years to rebuild my life to the point where I'm a teacher and perform music regularly.

OR, there was a summer job I had as a driver for an executive who had lost his license because of drunk driving. I was 17 (and he was 100% gentlemanly toward me, btw). The company he owned was a little thing called Sharp electronics, which was just beginning to import to the US... We had a great rapport and he offered to hire me as a personal assistant when I finished college... but I was too into the hippy thing and as nice as he was, it would still have been "working for the Man" (yes, I was still using drugs at the time).

OR, when I was beginning to be heard by ppl in the music biz that mattered, if I hadn't fallen in love... but that was worth it.

[Hashi Lebwohl]

In years past I spent considerable time thinking about how my life could have been different had I chosen to do x or chosen not to do y. Then I realized that such thinking is the same used by people who worry too much: what if a thunderstorm happens while I am out of the house, what if my car breaks down on the side of the road, what if a mugger attacks me when I go downtown, what if my credit card gets declined at the store, what if I get sick while at work, what if nuclear war happens, what if the Sun goes nova, what if, what if, what if.

One of the most difficult things to accept as an adult is that the life you are currently living is the life you chose to live. In a bad marriage with your spouse? Unfortunately, you chose them. Don't like your job? You chose it. Wish you made more money? You chose to have the career you have or you make poor choices with the money you make. That isn't me being harsh to anyone because this applies to me, as well.

Sure, there are things I wish I had done differently as a teenager then younger adult but I don't let that get in the way of being where I am at this time. It doesn't even matter what those things are because wanting to change my past prevents me from living in the here and now.

Fortunately, I make better decisions now and that is all that really matters.

[Vader]

No regrets. I'm not proud of all the things I've done and some of my decisions have been pretty stupid. However if life had taken another path I wouldn't have the same wonderful kid I have now. Maybe I'd have another child, maybe even with the Missus but it wouldn't have been the Vadress. All my mistakes and shortcomings turned out to be a blessing in the end.

[Vraith]

The real biggie...so big I don't even know how to begin imagining the differences...though I didn't exactly like being in the Military, I came quite close to re-enlisting...would have been a 6 year commitment for what I was looking at [cuz language school training was a year itself].
Would have gotten me a large cash bonus, fast promotions, taken me almost 1/2 way to retirement benefits...also would have been reaching the end just as first Gulf War was beginning, so might not have been able to leave then even if I wanted to....

Other things of course life would have been different, can't know how, and different doesn't mean better. That would have been the MOST different, I think.

[Linna Heartbooger]

When I was a teen, my idea of my future was all about career and how many wonderful horses I might buy when I grew up.
I would say things like "nooo, I don't plan to marry any time soon; I need to get my phD first."
(Ahh, the arrogance of the young who think they know their future!)

When I went into college I had a kind of unusual scholarship, which involved an obligation of where I would have worked after college.
I got lots of bad grades, and lost the scholarship because I was irresponsible and didn't know I was. (with the way I talked, who would?)

Because I lost it, and because of other good fortune that came to me, I was able to get married right after college.
I had -no- idea how good marriage and raising little nerdy kiddoes was gonna be.
I just wasn't raised to particularly anticipate it.

Man, I think it's really neat to hear people's perspectives and on their past. (or in the case of Hashi on how one should think about ones past!)

Edit: Incomplete edits cause wackiness! I did know that I was a social butterfly in my own weird way.. what I didn't know was how irresponsible I was.

[sgt.null]

1989, if I had my passport I was on my way to Europe. I would have bummed around for a bit, staying at youth hostels and seeing all the Europe had to offer.

I would have joined an experimental art band in some country or another and would still be doing that.

i'd be an artist/musician. very liberal and gobbling up handfuls of narcotics. leading a libertine lifestyle as far as the ladies are concerned.

every night sing out political diatribes against the us of a.

[Mega Fauna Blitzkrieg]

If this isn't a topic to make one want to take a rose-tinted bath, I don't know what is.

I actually have a good one though! In high school I was getting courted by several members of the football team, for a long time. I thought they were teasing me in some weird way, as that high school (from which I gladly dropped out) was famous and PROUD of it's reputation for hazing.

I didn't realize until years later that as a freshman I was already around 6'2 and 200lbs, and "crazy"! Now, I am the archetype of closed off nerds who communicate via TV quotes. I can hardly imagine how different things would have been if I became a feetball player O_O

I have thousands of more examples but they are too painful, it would be rose-tinted bath time. Plus, I am told by everyone that I spend too much time in self examination and reflection.

[[Syl]]

For me, there's really two big ones. The first is having home to college after high school,either the one I kamikazed, Puget Sound, or the more reasonable UNR. In some ways, I think I really missed out Going when I was older--connections, years of professional experience... other stuff. But i also think that as lazy and undisciplined as I was, I would've failed out.

And then they're was my first stint in the navy.maybe I should've taken that extra year for a thousand bucks,the year after that for the increased tank. Probably would've taken Arabic instead of Hebrew. Would've taken the professionalization courses and became a civilian linguist. I was good at the job and liked it.didn't realize how rear of a thing that was.

Doesn't mean I front like how things are now or that I'd trade anything (having kids and the most rudimentary understanding of chaos theory nixes that), but. ..

[[Syl]]

The preceding post brought to you by my new phone. The swipe thing is pretty amazing on its own way,bit i miss having a keypad.

[Iolanthe]

I suppose our biggest choice was moving after we married. Couldn't afford to buy a house in either Romford (my home town) or Winchester (C's home town) so we bought a Dalton's Weekly, looked for where the cheapest houses were (either March in Cambridgeshire or Sleaford in Lincolnshire) and ended up sticking a pin in the map. Lincolnshire won, so here I am 40 years later not regretting our choice at all. Looking back I think we were very brave to move so far away from all our rellies.

[Avatar]

The preceding post brought to you by my new phone.

I did wonder what was wrong, reading it.

Anyway, on topic, I never really wonder about it. There are things I might have done differently if I had to do them again, but nothing I really wish I had or hadn't done.

--A

[StevieG]

Two potential life changers:

1. Football (Soccer) - I could have taken it much much further;
2. Music - My absolute passion through my teens and early 20s, and I could have taken it much much further.

... and what actually happened was: I went to Uni, did a boring degree, got a job, etc etc. This has turned out fine so far so no complaints, but every now and then I do wonder about the more risky options that I could have chosen.

[aliantha]

Ah, what could have been....

I tend to think that all the decisions I made were for good reasons -- or for what I thought were good reasons at the time. And things have mostly worked out.

I might have tried harder to stay in Colorado. Other than that, I can't think of much of anything I'd do differently.

[Cambo]

It's early days, but overall I think my life is working out about as well as I would like, and much better than I would have expected at certain earlier times.

I have severe depression, but due to an accident of psychology, no real suicidal tendencies at all. Knowing several people who *have* suffered suicidal tendencies, I know this is nothing more than a happy accident- nothing to do with the strength of my psyche, and if I was predisposed, I shudder to think how much more the darkest parts of my life would have impacted me.

The Big One, of course, was making a full recovery from my Acute Psychotic Episode. There was a very real chance I could have required medication/care/institutionalisation for the rest of my life. As it happened, I didn't, and despite all the ways the trauma associated with it has affected me, my mind is still my own.

Really it can be summed up that my late formative years have seen me through some heavy stuff, but through the care of others, resilience, and sheer luck I've managed to still find myself in a place from which it's possible to make my life how I want it to be

[rdhopeca]

What could have been indeed.

The turning point in my life was coming to California. There are two moments that could have gone much differently.

First, I was super into this friend of mine who came to all my gigs, hung out with me, but was always dating someone else. Every time I thought my opportunity would happen, she'd meet someone new. Classic scenario. After a year or more I finally gave up and decided on my California move. The thing is, I kissed her goodbye (ah, that first kiss), and she said then she realized what she was about to lose. Not sure what would have happened if she had asked me to stay, at that point in time I would have totally married her. But we're still great friends today, which is awesome.

The other moment was when my car broke down 1/2 way through my drive to California from Boston. I was in Ogallala Nebraska and stranded. Even though I had to rent a U-Haul because my engine was down a piston rod and could not be repaired, I continued out to California. I was seriously considering turning around because all I had was what was in the car, and now I didn't have the car. But since I was halfway I kept coming to California with nothing but my guitars, my computer, and some clothes. Not sure what would have happened if I had turned around instead, but it would not be where I am today, which is happily married to a great person with two awesome little ones.

Things work out I guess

[Harbinger]

I dislike the what ifs. You could have gotten hit by a bus.

I dislike New Age stuff, but it's a fact that wherever you go, there you are.

I'm not trying to be a dick, but if you had different kids, you would think they were just as special and you would love them just as much.

A small choice in your life can have a huge ripple effect.

Missing that exit may have saved your life.

If you don't have it it's because you didn't want it bad enough.

You are where you are because you chose to be there. No choice is still a choice. Yesterday is a million miles away but tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

[peter]

I could'a been a contender!

[michaelm]

I suppose it could have been very different. I didn't go to college as soon as I left high school (I went in my late 20s), so that would have mapped out an entirely different path. I considered Chemical Engineering and Biochemistry, so who knows what that would have done to my life path.

Instead I tried to make it as a musician, then an actor, but with lack of success in both of those I ended up with a career in theater working as an electrician, then as a stage manager, both in a theater and touring.

Things might have been different at this stage if it were not for my brother dying in a car accident. I think it really pushed me off the rails and my life was a random mess of job hopping, drinking and taking drugs for quite a few years.

Going back to college happened because my dad passed away and I knew that it always bothered him that I didn't go to college (I was a straight A student for most of my time in school). I studied Computer Systems Engineering and it really decided my path for me after that.

Could have all been much different.

[MsMary]

More thread necromancy!

I never answered this one. The one thing that could have been different is that if I had gone into nursing right out of high school instead of changing my mind and majoring in biology, I probably would have been a nursing professor at some university or college by now.

But if I had taken that path, I wouldn't have met my husband or had many of the experiences I ended up having.

So I can't really regret the path I've taken.