How do you feel today? v. 3.0

[Linna Heartbooger]

I've had some things go really well for the last week and change.

Today I found out that an opportunity that my husband and I were hoping would work out... won't.. at least not any time soon.

The reality of the disappointment doesn't seem to have set in for me...
So it hasn't let much of the air out of my balloon; I'm still pretty buoyant.

I'm still irked over the whole review thing. I know I need to get over it. It wasn't a bad review. But I still have my claws out over getting dinged for 'not being a team player' when there is no bloody team...

The negative feedback is the hardest to take, even when mingled with the good.
I can burn over negative comments (esp. from someone whose thoughts I value!) for, umm, well, really long periods of time...

Often, when a person gives me some negative feedback, there is something valuable in it, though.
If you put yourself in the shoes of the boss or whoever gave you the review, I wonder if -that- person has a vision of how you, Sorus - with how-you-relate-to-coworkers-now as a starting point - would move towards the ideal he or she has in mind w/out violating your personal workplace ethics.

I can train people, I can delegate, I can be a damn good team player.

I want to hear more about this... even if it seems like doin' all that was mostly eons ago.

[Sorus]

It was eons ago, and it was nothing special or particularly interesting. I've spent a lot of time thinking, fully willing to accept that I might be the problem, but I'm not seeing it. (And I'm good at blaming myself for stuff.) Back to him telling me that 'they're like children and I need to treat them like children' - that's the real problem. I can be a manager. I'm not a good babysitter. Especially not when I'm dealing with 20-30 somethings who are making the same amount of money as me and not doing any of the work. Nobody gives them tasks, because they know they won't get done. And then I come along expecting them to follow standards (when I have gone out of my way to make things easy to maintain) - and now they don't like working with me because I'm 'not fun'. Yeah, sorry. I have a looong list of things that are in my job description. I do a lot of things that are not in my job description. 'Being fun' isn't on either list. I do wish I had some level of camaraderie with them. I think it's important to be able to function as a team. But I don't think that's going to happen unless they grow up.

[Sorus]

Today I found out that an opportunity that my husband and I were hoping would work out... won't.. at least not any time soon.

The reality of the disappointment doesn't seem to have set in for me...
So it hasn't let much of the air out of my balloon; I'm still pretty buoyant.

Sorry to hear that. I hope the trend of positivity continues.

[Linna Heartbooger]

It was eons ago, and it was nothing special or particularly interesting. I've spent a lot of time thinking, fully willing to accept that I might be the problem, but I'm not seeing it. (And I'm good at blaming myself for stuff.)

Okay, so a few months ago, I was talking to a friend about my frustrations about the pattern of interactions with a family member growing up.
And I told him that for so long I'd been focusing on the obnoxious and obvious wrongs that the other person was doing, but now I'd hit upon some revelations about the way I'd been responding. (In the silences of my heart, I was very very vengeful.)

My friend... may have concluded (perhaps rightly) that I'd decided to shift the blame from that family member to myself.
So his response to me was, "Seriously, I think there was plenty of responsibility to go around!"

Back to him telling me that 'they're like children and I need to treat them like children' - that's the real problem. I can be a manager. I'm not a good babysitter.

Getting actual children to do stuff is kind of crazy in some ways...
...figuring out where one should expect a lot and where one should expect "this person will resist like a stubborn mule" is tricky, with adults or children.
...and the people at your work being actual adults is... yes, demotivating.

It sounds like you think that even if you had some good plans, the incentive structure is broken, and you don't have an automatic way of injecting incentives for good work/effort.

I do wish I had some level of camaraderie with them. I think it's important to be able to function as a team. But I don't think that's going to happen unless they grow up.

...I bet their playing-on-phones-instead-of-working thing is always right in front of your face... it's just this ever-present point of contention... it probably makes it harder to think of a way to speak peaceably to them.

Sorry to hear that. I hope the trend of positivity continues.

thanks... there's a lot that can't be taken from me.
"...through honor and dishonor, slander and praise... as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything."

[Avatar]

I don't think I knew you were married Linna.

Gonna be a busy week for me I guess. Of course, these days they're all busy. Bah humbug.

--A

[Sorus]

I prefer to be busy, but I just found out that I'm probably going to be working 12 days in a row with today as the first. I knew about Saturday, but I'd expected to have Sunday off. May bite someone before it's over.

[Khaliban]

I prefer to be busy, but I just found out that I'm probably going to be working 12 days in a row with today as the first. I knew about Saturday, but I'd expected to have Sunday off. May bite someone before it's over.

The most I've ever done is 33 days straight. I wasn't biting so much as shaking and falling over.

[Sorus]

Eugh, that's horrible.

[Avatar]

Sheesh guys...y'all work too much. (What do you do Khaliban?)

I know what you mean about being busy, (makes the time go faster) but in my job, when I'm not busy, I get to keep myself occupied, which is a lot better than work...)

--A

[Khaliban]

That was temp work at a costume warehouse during Halloween rush. That was also my last year. I started regular office work the next month. I've had some long hours during tax season, but nothing matched the warehouse.

[Avatar]

Yeah, funny how the worse the work is, the more hours you have to put in. Labour inequality, I tell you.

--A

[Sorus]

The more hours, and the less you get paid for it. This is gonna be a long 'week'.

[Avatar]

I was gonna say it's almost over, then I remembered that for you it's not.

I feel ok...still a bit swamped at work...hell...more than a bit.

--A

[Sorus]

Yeah, 'my week is 1/3 over!' isn't much of a morale boost right now. Especially since my boss was blocked by software from actually scheduling me to work so many days in a row (so he says), which means I won't be able to log in on those days, which means I'm going to have to fight to get paid for that time.

[Avatar]

Uh, maybe if the software is saying "you can't work that long" he should pay attention?

I know I sound like a broken record, but damn Sorus...You need a new job...

--A

[Linna Heartbooger]

I don't think I knew you were married Linna.

That amuses me...
Anyway, yup, and married to a good man.

He's the sort of guy who, when he has almost no energy, thinks up things like offering the younger child a snail ride. Or some days, it's "Want a mud ride, little one?"
And then he impersonates a giant snail with a boy on his back, or ...a heap of mud, as the case may be.
There, that's a decent first description of him.

One time a long while ago, I let on that he had read the Chrons, and you were like "Tell him to come join the Watch," Av.
I showed him your post, but the fish did not take the bait and join up.

...which means I won't be able to log in on those days, which means I'm going to have to fight to get paid for that time.

Has a situation that's basically just like this (technology-wise) happened before, or just... I think you've had other situations where your hours weren't recorded?

[Sorus]

Uh, maybe if the software is saying "you can't work that long" he should pay attention?

It's new software, and it sucks. That's one of the few things we can all agree on. The long chain of workdays also sucks, but it doesn't violate any employment laws. Not paying me for the time would violate said laws, and I will get paid - but probably not on time and definitely with more hassle than should be required. Going back to the stone age again, I used to do payroll for a large company. I never 'forgot' to pay anyone, never paid anyone late, never made any mistakes on anyone's paycheck. That's not bragging, that was the expectation. As it should be. Why doesn't anyone give a rodent's posterior about doing their job well these days?

[StevieG]

Happy Monday everyone (grits teeth...)

[Sorus]

I've never really understood why Garfield hates Mondays. He doesn't have a job - all he does is eat and sleep.

[aTOMiC]

I've never really understood why Garfield hates Mondays. He doesn't have a job - all he does is eat and sleep.

Excellent point.

This cat on the other hand...