The right thing to do?
Moderator: Fist and Faith
Which is why I said neither. All I said was what I'd do.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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wayfriend
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No offense to Vain, but not seeing someone because you don't want to see them when they're in poor shape sounds like one of those things you tell yourself to justify what you want to do anyways. (So, yes, I agree: ask yourself why you're asking.)
Because I've never met anyone who has done so and then said, yep, shouldn't have seen 'em. Yes, it's hard and it's depressing, but its also good. Some part of you knows that it matters. It's not wasted time.
Gestures of love and respect are never wasted.
Because I've never met anyone who has done so and then said, yep, shouldn't have seen 'em. Yes, it's hard and it's depressing, but its also good. Some part of you knows that it matters. It's not wasted time.
Gestures of love and respect are never wasted.
exactly.Wayfriend wrote:Gestures of love and respect are never wasted.
you're more advanced than a cockroach,
have you ever tried explaining yourself
to one of them?
~ alan bates, the mothman prophecies
i've had this with actors before, on the set,
where they get upset about the [size of my]
trailer, and i'm always like...take my trailer,
cause... i'm from Kentucky
and that's not what we brag about.
~ george clooney, inside the actor's studio
a straight edge for legends at
the fold - searching for our
lost cities of gold. burnt tar,
gravel pits. sixteen gears switch.
Haphazard Lucy strolls by.
~ dennis r wood ~
have you ever tried explaining yourself
to one of them?
~ alan bates, the mothman prophecies
i've had this with actors before, on the set,
where they get upset about the [size of my]
trailer, and i'm always like...take my trailer,
cause... i'm from Kentucky
and that's not what we brag about.
~ george clooney, inside the actor's studio
a straight edge for legends at
the fold - searching for our
lost cities of gold. burnt tar,
gravel pits. sixteen gears switch.
Haphazard Lucy strolls by.
~ dennis r wood ~
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Prebe
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FWIW, I wish I hadn't seen my demented vicious grandmother with tubes comming out of every orifice before she bought it. That experience gave me nothing.
Also, I'm glad my mother didn't call me home from holiday when my father died (it was a little unexpected and sudden btw). Of course that situation is different, because:
1: I wouldn't have been able to see him alive
2: He was very much alive and kicking when I left, and we were in good standings
Also, I'm glad my mother didn't call me home from holiday when my father died (it was a little unexpected and sudden btw). Of course that situation is different, because:
1: I wouldn't have been able to see him alive
2: He was very much alive and kicking when I left, and we were in good standings
"I would have gone to the thesaurus for a more erudite word."
-Hashi Lebwohl
-Hashi Lebwohl
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Avatar
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Yeah, that happened with my grandmother...I left the country and she was fine, (for an 85yr old), and she died while I was away. Decided not to return to SA for the funeral.
Never bothered me, she was an avid traveller...she wouldn't have wanted me to come back. (And she was an atheistic old socialist...instructed us to throw her ashes in the bin after the cremation if we wanted to.
) (We didn't, but that's not the point. )
Never bothered me, she was an avid traveller...she wouldn't have wanted me to come back. (And she was an atheistic old socialist...instructed us to throw her ashes in the bin after the cremation if we wanted to.
) (We didn't, but that's not the point. )
Thanks for the views guys. I generally, as a rule, don't post personal stuff because I deal with things and move on. This one, as I indicated, has me in a quandary.
I do understand that my logical reasons are selfish - and in essence I'm making it all about me. Cognitive dissonance, rationalisation - call it what you want.
I also don't know if it can be about love - it probably should be - but maybe family (the concept thereof) transcends that - don't know.
So the problem I face is do I do this for me, or for a greater purpose; and being the person I am, it's difficult to opt for the latter for many reasons.
Av - if I do come over, we will absolutely have to get together. I always did say that when I'm in my 40's I'd try out some dagga
I do understand that my logical reasons are selfish - and in essence I'm making it all about me. Cognitive dissonance, rationalisation - call it what you want.
I also don't know if it can be about love - it probably should be - but maybe family (the concept thereof) transcends that - don't know.
So the problem I face is do I do this for me, or for a greater purpose; and being the person I am, it's difficult to opt for the latter for many reasons.
Av - if I do come over, we will absolutely have to get together. I always did say that when I'm in my 40's I'd try out some dagga
Always welcome man. 
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Cagliostro
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This one is a hard one for me, as I have done both. I missed my grandfather on my mom's side before he died, but I saw my grandfather on my dad's side. If it is for selfish reasons, I haven't ever really regretted missing seeing my mom's dad weak and uncomfortable in the hospital, but I do have a memory of my dad's dad that is an unpleasant one.
But I do wonder how much people with dementia or whatnot do know what is going on around them. For that reason of not knowing, I would probably go.
But I do wonder how much people with dementia or whatnot do know what is going on around them. For that reason of not knowing, I would probably go.
Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
So get wasted all of the time
And you'll have the time of your life
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Cameraman Jenn
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It is about you Vain. It's about you making peace by the way of your choosing.
Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....
www.fantasybedtimehour.com
www.fantasybedtimehour.com
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Fist and Faith
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aliantha
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Well, fine, then, Fist. *You* go see his dad! 
EZ Board Survivor
"Dreaming isn't good for you unless you do the things it tells you to." -- Three Dog Night (via the GI)
https://www.hearth-myth.com/
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Fist and Faith
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lurch
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darnn.. late in on this one..but I see afew have hit all around it..There is some " thing" bigger than your " self" Vain.. Yes, cast all the cold logic and reason that only gets you into paradox,,cast it aside. Cast " yourself" aside...Go with Love...no,, sorry about that.. Go With LOVE. Challenge your being with grasping a dimension of LOVE you are unfamiliar with. As already said, there is no negative with Love in your heart. Just be open to all the possibilities once you free your self with it. Its your decision,,,if it is even a decision to make,,,Let all your course of actions be made with Love. Suprises await you around every corner. Without LOVE,, only predictability awaits you.
If she withdrew from exaltation, she would be forced to think- And every thought led to fear and contradictions; to dilemmas for which she was unprepared.
pg4 TLD
pg4 TLD